Wizard of Sunnyhell
by Avalon Caulfield
Summary: It's an old fic I had up. Putting back on. Wizard of Oz // BtVS spoof. Takes place early sixth season [ post ''Once more with feeling'' ].. *Complete*. Review!!!
1. Oh, the insanity..

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A/N: I'm high, it's funny! You better read! J 

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it!

It was a normal night in Sunnydale, as normal as the Hellmouth could be. Vampires killing, demons torturing, Buffy Summers singing… "Somewhere over the Hellmouth, Heaven lies. There I was, when I died, till that bitch Willow brought me back, I hope she has a heart attack…and goes to Hell. Somewhere, over the Hellmouth, Heaven liiies…oh yes, I went there when I died, till my friends used a spell, and brought me back to this damn Hell…"

****

Oh, shut up, Buffy. Other people have problems too. Buffy glares, but shuts up. **This being the Hellmouth, a demon in a purple Glinda look-a-like costume showed up and sent Buffy Summers, Spike, Dawn Summers, and Anya Emerson to the Land of Oz. No, Oz is not involved. In fact, Buffy is in a wooden house, rapidly falling downwards. The house landed with a thud. Buffy ran out of the house, trying to be "brave"(stupid!) Buffy stepped back and saw mini Hell demons dancing around and around. **"Hey! You're demons! I should kill you!" Buffy declared stupidly. 

"Ding dong, the bitch is dead, the stupid bitch is deaad…" the demons sang, rolling their eyes. 

"Huh?"

"Do we know? We just say this stupid stuff. We don't question the script."

"I see..." Buffy pulled a script out of her pair of jeans, skimmed it, and folded it back up, placing it in the pocket of her jeans. "It says here that the Good Vampire Angel will show up at this part." 

****

And indeed, the great poof Angel did float down, the lime green wires contrasting with his pink dress. "I'm a genie in a bottle…"

"No, Angel, you're not," Buffy said impatiently.

"No, you stupid ditz, that's from my idol—Christina Aguilera!"

"Whatever happened to your idol being Martha Stewart?" 

Angel flushed. "Well…"

The Hell Demons coughed politely, and checked their fake-Rolexes. "Uh, guys?" one demon said. "Do you mind going by the script? We have a gig for the seven dwarfs stunt doubles in twenty minutes, and they don't make flying bunnies like they used to." 

****

Oh yeah. (Giggle)

Angel frowned. "You have killed the stupid vampire of the east, Darla. For a reward, you may get her ruby…stilettos? Wasn't it slippers?"

Indeed, ruby stilettos appeared on Buffy's feet—instead of her stinky, muddy sneakers. "Angel, I cant walk in these."

"Learn damnit. I keep tripping on this skirt, and yet here I am."

"Ugh, fine," Buffy staggered forward. "By the way, who do I see if I want to go back to Heaven?" 

"A local serial killer? _Harry Potter_? Do I know?" Angel paused, considered. "I know! The Wizard of Oz!"

"The Wizard of who?" Buffy asked.

"Oh, just lay off it. Follow the bloody road!" 

****

The retarded people of Mini Hell Demon land burst into a song, ending in a terribly sung solo from Angel. Everyone winced at the sound of his lack of talent. So Buffy and Mr. Pointy began their fearsome journey along the bloody road. 


	2. And even more craziness...

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Disclaimer: Its not mine. However, my sick vision which now haunts me forever, of Angel in a Glinda suit, IS mine! 

A/N: Yes, this is a concept I came up with only on drinking coke. I hope its funny. Poor BtVS characters… oh yes, Joss would hate me. Do you think they could make an episode of this? REVIEWS ARE NICE! REVIEW!!!

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Buffy's journey had barely begun, before she met her first challenge… yes, her first challenge! 

"Damnit, Mr. Pointy!" **Buffy cried, distressed, talking to her wooden stake. Buffy was upset, for she had fallen on the bloody road, and the heel of the ruby stilettos was caught in the crack of the road. Unfortunately for her, Drusilla the bad vampire of the west was right there! Oh, yay! **

"Don't worry, little girl…" **she said dreamily.** "I will make things all better, just like my mummy used to. Just give me your ruby stilettos, and things will be okay…"

"No!"

"Yes!" 

"No!"

"Yes!"  
"You _will_ give me the stilettos!"

"Will _not_!"

"Will _too_!"

"Will _not_!"

"Will _too_!"

"Only if you give me something instead. And it better be equally expensive. Do you know how much money these slippers will be, if they're actual rubies?" 

****

Now, Drusilla was challenged herself. What could she give Buffy? She looked down at her own feet, clad in fluffy pink bunny slippers. "A trade, then."

"You're kidding me."

****

Drusilla took off the fluffy pink bunny slippers. "These are worth something, I assure you. Miss Edith says so." 

"Maybe at Salvation Army."

"I like armies…" **Drusilla stated.** "They fight wars, where blood soaks the ground, and turns the sky green…"

"Riiight…hey! That wasn't in the script…"

****

Drusilla giggled. "I killed the script writers. They made me seem like a crazy, blundering idiot…"

"You are a crazy blundering idiot." 

"Bitch! Yo' best not be' dissin' me!" **Drusilla said in a mock-ghetto voice.** "Buffy, I am your father!"

****

Angel appeared down, in the same pink dress and whispered something in Dru's ear. She pouted, but nodded. Buffy took the cue, and started walking away. Drusilla's eyes widened as Angel disappeared. "You come back with my shoes!"

****

Buffy turned around, grabbed the fluffy pink bunny slippers from Drusilla, and ran off, screaming, "Muwahahahahahahahahahahaha!" 

"Hey! COME BACK HERE! I'LL GET YOU MY PRETTY, AND YOU'RE STUPID STAKE TOO!"** Drusilla screamed after her. Buffy kept taking off down the bloody road.**

Eventually, the elder Summers came across her dearest, darling sister, Dawn. "Dawn, what are you doing here? This is about me! It's always about me!"

****

Dawn glared, but launched into her song. "If I only were real, do you know how that would feel? If I only were real…look at me, I'm the key, and that's all I'll ever be! I'd have real friends, I blame it all on Ben! If he hadn't handed me over, I'd feel remotely real! For luck, I'd use a four-leaf clover. I'm pure green energy, so look at me! I'm the key! If I only were reaaaal. Glory was a bitch-God, would Spike call her stupid sod? And she really wanted meee, cause I'm the key! I'm not real! If I only were real."

****

Buffy considered, then said, in an overly perky voice, "Well, I'm going to the Wizard of Oz, maybe he can make you real."

"Oz, the werewolf? Willow's ex-boyfriend can make me real?"

"No! We're in Oz! And there's a Wizard…"

"Munchkins too?" 

"No, there are not Munchkins. Mini hell-demons who stunt-double for seven dwarfs, and Angel in a pink dress…so are you gonna come along or just stand here singing bad?" 

"I'm going with you… where'd you get the fluffy pink bunny slippers?"

"Long story…"

****

So the two sisters continued along their journey on the bloody path. Many hours later, they came across Spike.

"Let me guess, Spike. You're gonna begin to sing,"** Buffy sneered. And indeed, Spike began to sing, too, with his oh-so-sexy voice. **"_When a vamp is tryin' to win the attentions, of a girl whose name I won't mention, who breaks my dead heart."_ **Dawn rolled her eyes. **"_And I'm just presumin', with a soul I'd be quite human, and she'd like me then (oh yes she'd like me then). I'd be tender, and gentle, and bloody sentimental, regardin' love 'n art. I'd own a pet sparrow, with crossbows I'd shoot arrows, if I only had a soul. I'd be a poof like Angel, savin' the day for no reason, Lord you'd think I'm commitin' treason, with the way yer starin' at me…can't you see, I'd be well off, if I only had a soul!"_

"You'd still be pathetic," **Buffy commented, humming the tune to "If I only had a soul". Dawn looked slightly jealous that Buffy wasn't humming _her_ song.**

"Why don't you come with us, Spike? I'm sure the Wizard of Oz can help you, too. He's gonna make me real!" 

"Whatever you say, 'Bit," **Spike replied. **"Is Buffy going with you?"

"Duh!" 

"Well, lets go…" **Buffy sighed, unhappy she had to bring Spike with her. She stalked ahead, often staggering on her heels. **


	3. Ebony City. Oh, and that infamous 'Wiz g...

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Disclaimer: Again! Its not mine! It's funny, no?

A/N: Here is the third installment of _The Wizard of Sunnydale_. **Please read + review! I'll give you a cookie! **

Our three friends were last seen traveling the bloody path—quite a painful feat for the "heroine" Buffy, who was wearing stilettos, complaining a lot. Dawn and Spike were strategically placed, Dawn on Buffy's left and right behind, and Spike right behind Buffy on her right, flanking her like bodyguards. It was beginning to get dark out, too…

"Vampires and demons and witches, oh my!" **Dawn said. For the next five minutes, the trio annoyingly repeated "vampires and demons and witches, oh my!" until an annoyingly whiney voice cut in, **"And…and… bunnies!"

****

Yes, it 'twas the cowardly ex-demon, Anya! How are you, Anya? Unfortunately, the red-eyed "albino" bunny held up Anya, staring at her from the other side of the bloody path. An' was whimpering, too. 

"Oh, grow up!" **Spike sniffed, crossing the Bloody Path, and grabbed the bunny. The bunny squealed like a pig and disappeared. **"Well…"** Spike blinked as Anya ran up and hugged him.**

"Isn't it your cue to sing?" **Buffy asked Anya curiously.**

"Uhh… I have to sing?"

"Isn't it in the script?"

****

At that moment, the four of them consulted their scripts. 

"No,"** Anya protested. **"It says quite clearly that we have to skip my singing so we could first see the Wizard of Oz, who is really--"

"Anya, shut up!" **Dawn, Spike, and Buffy protested at the same time. **

"You'll ruin it for the audience," **Dawn sniffed in protest. **"How come _I_ had to sing?" 

"Well, bloody c'mon, do as the script says. I'd like to see this Wiz' guy," **Spike cut in. He began to trudge forward, but Buffy cleared her throat.**

"As the star," **she said quite contemptuously, and full of her self to say the least, **"I dare say I get to lead the 'pack'." 

****

Spike gave her a haughty look. "Lead on, Goldielocks."

****

Anya rolled her eyes. "Wrong story, Spike." 

****

However, they scampered along looking for The Wizard in silence. Eventually, they reached Ebony City. Everyone there was depressed and wearing black. "Whad'ya want?" **a guard of Ebony city asked. **

"We're looking for the Wizard…'' **Anya said dutifully, making herself useful. At that part, the four sung, **"_We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz, we hear he is a wiz of a wiz, if ever a wiz there was. If ever oh ever a wiz there was, the Wizard of Oz is one because, because, because, because, _

Because, because...because of the "better than us" things he does! We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

"Arrest them! They're perky! They're singing!" **an Ebony City towns person yelled. The guard however, shrugged carelessly. **

"If you go left, and you see the sable-dome, then you've found the Wizard. No skin off my back if you waste your time. But get done with it quickly."

****

The foursome (EW, pervert!) did indeed go left, and skipped along the reappearing Bloody Path leading up to the sable dome. Spike knocked loudly. A muffled voice from the other side of the door asked, "Who be there?"

"The four of us are 'ere to see the Wizard," **Buffy said proudly, then turned to her friends. **"Right?" **she inquired, asking for their approval. They nodded. The voice behind the door snorted. **"Go the fuck away…I'm not allowed to let you in…" 

****

Spike slammed her fist against the door. "Warren!" **Spike roared loudly. **"Let us the hell in now, or all your little action figures get it!"

****

The door hastily opened, revealing super-geek Warren. The four shoved past him ungratefully, until Dawn stopped and considered. "Uh, can you please tell me where is the Wizard…Warren?" **Dawn inquired politely.**

"Upstairs, go three doors down…"**Anya began singing Kryptonite. **"Please shut up!" **Anya shut up. **"Go three doors down on your right, and voila, you've found the Wizard. I advise you to knock first… the all-knowing Wizard gets testy." 

****

Traipsing up to the upstairs floor, Buffy, followed by Dawn, Spike, and Anya did exactly as Warren instructed, even knocking. "Who goes--"**a deep voice started, then paused considering. **"The all-knowing Wizard invites you in, simple mortals." 

"Who's mortal?" **Spike growled, as they made their way in. The floors were lit up with fires and movie lights, like in the theater, you know? The lights lining the floors of movie theaters, so you can see your way. There was a huge face lit up and green. **"I am the all-knowing Wizard of Oz," **the face's voice boomed. **"I know what you want already, and no."

"Hey, Mister! I'm pretty deserving! I killed Darla."

"And how did you do that?" 

"I thought you were all knowing,"** Buffy accused. The Wizard faltered.**

"Don't you…think your friends…want to know about your defeat of…the evil vampire of the east?"

"Oh, yeah! Well this house fell on her, and it was wood…"  
"Then how'd you kill 'er?" **Spike asked.**

"I was in the house!" 

"Can we focus?" **the Wizard asked. They all snapped to attention.** "If you could bring me the dead vampire's stilettos, and the other vampire's pink bunny slippers, then your wishes may be granted."

"Buffy, uh, has those," **Anya stated.**

"Well, fine! Be that way!" **the Wizard answered in the mannerism of a little child having a hissy fit. **"Then bring me back Miss Edith, the doll of Drusilla, the Wicked Vampire of the West."

****

Buffy, Dawn, Spike, and Anya shuffled out of the sable-dome, grumbling. They'd have to go into the woods to find the Wicked Vampire's lair, they bet, and that was a lot of unnecessary trouble. Vampires and demons and witches, oh my! 


	4. The Plot Thickens.

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Disclaimer: Its not mine! In a twenty-four hour span, I magically did not acquire the rights to BtVS! This is my last time saying this!

A/N: You love it! Yay! More reviews! I am sad to say that I am a review-whore! I should wear a sign that says "Will write for reviews"**… anyway! Onward with the fic! **

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The four heroines (okay. Three heroines, one sexy hero!) Were traipsing through the Hellmouth Woods looking for a sign, any sign, of Drusilla. 

"Why did you have to say anything?" **Spike hissed at Anya for the one-billionth time. Poor Spikey was surrounded by…by… WOOD! Deadly, deadly wood. That's why they call them "woods", but oh well. **

"You know what?" **Buffy said to Anya, who was just about to answer. She grinned proudly. **"You should sing now." **Anya glared.**

"I refuse to sing. Its eepy. Like with that demon… we had to sing against our wills."

****

Anya nodded enthusiastically. Dawn and Spike were talking—probably about how Spike could even remotely get Buffy to like him. 

They continued their journey through the woods, Buffy singing "somewhere over the hell mouth" which caused everyone to get annoyed. Finally Dawn repeatedly whapped Buffy over the head. Spike attacked Dawn, which got him screaming in agony, and Anya just stood there. When the entire hubbub died down, Anya whispered, "Guys, look _up_." When the trio, and Anya, looked up, the sky, which was _supposed_ to be pitch black looked… strange. A strange white cloud of _something_ was hovering almost near them, yet too close to be actual, definable shapes. At long last, they seemed to be fluffy white bunnies… and they were _flying_! "Save me!" Anya shrieked, hiding behind Spike and Dawn. 

"Aww, aren't they cute?" **Buffy asked, grinning. Anya shrieked in return, **"They are not _cute!_ They're evil! Evil, I tell you! They're the evilest things around! Do something! Slay them, you're the damned Slayer!" 

****

Buffy instead smiled stupidly when the bunnies landed. They all surrounded Buffy, grabbed her by the arms with their teeth, and began to fly away. Dawn was eager to let Buffy go, since she seemed way too ditzy, Anya was cowering in fear, and Spike was trying to chase the flying bunnies. Of course, my sexy bitch Spike didn't realize that you couldn't really chase anything that flies, and watch for the wood and not get impaled. In fact, sad to say, Spike-the-sexy-soulless vampire ran into a tree! "What are we going to do?" **He yelled at Dawn and Anya.** "They're probably taking her to Drusilla!" 

"Then we'll find Drusilla. Be down with the chillingness, Spike, Buffy isn't dead," **Dawn snarled. **"And why do you care? She like, kicked your ass a lot and treated you like dirt, and you ignore the people who _don't_."

"I care, because she's _Buffy_, and everyone on this bloody show eventually loves Buffy, and wants Buffy to love them."

"I don't," **Anya volunteered.** "Well, we're off to see Drusilla! The bitchy vampire of Oz!"

Hm, friends, do I sense a… a… song coming on? 

"No! Not another song!" **the trio yelled. Okay, okay. Sheesh. We all know they couldn't use the brainpower without Buffy to improvise a song. So, they're off to see Drusilla, the bitchy vampire of Oz! **

A/N: If I get a lot more reviews, I will bother with writing chapter five. M'kay? Yay! 


	5. You're still reading this? I can't belie...

A/N – Damn, it's been a long time since I've worked on this. I got one review. Damn you people. **Review my fic!!** I personally think it's bad, but my friends say it isn't, and they say it's funny. So I present to you…

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The fifth installment of…

__

The Wizard of Sunnyhell!

Meanwhile, as the leaderless trio searched about for Drusilla's lair, Buffy lay in the tower of the lair. Our favorite blonde Slayer lay bound by chains as Drusilla paced back and fourth. Buffy grumbled groggily and forced herself to sit up further, chains rattling as she moved.

"Oh, the moon tells me you're awake…" **Drusilla stated quietly. Buffy blinked, retorting with a – **"It does? That's like sooo cool! Wait. No. You heard me get up."

****

The Wicked Vampire of the West turned, eyes flashing angrily as she stared at the vampire Slayer. "Don't bitch at me… I've burned your precious script! _You have nothing to go by!_" **Evil cackling ensued. God, that's so mean of you, Drusilla, Buffy needs her script! **

"My friends… my sister… they have their scripts…" Buffy murmured.

"But where are your friends? Are they here to save you…?" **The petite blonde Slayer glared at the vampire as she continued – **"My Spike and those little girls… they care nothing for you. I will let you go as soon as you give me those stilettos!" 

"Do I look that stupid?"

Do we need to answer that…? Okay, I'm shutting up now, I swear. Buffy glared at me, the innocent narrator, and then at the Wicked Vampire of the West – trying to think of a continuing improv. "Why are the stilettos so important?" 

"They're great… stylish and everything." **Jesus Pookie! Has Cordelia replaced Drusilla? Is this all one cruel dream? I have yet to see the tomatoes thrown at me, for this horrible piece of work – this butchering of such loved characters! :: expects tomatoes::**

"Ahem."

Yes? 

"Can you _please_ continue the story? Lament _later_. "

****

Oh, right. So the Vampire Slayer Buffy stared at the vampire… "You want them because they're stylish?"

"Well yeah… look at them!" **Buffy peered at the shoes and shrugged. **

"Hm, they are stylish…"

"And magical!"

"They are? What do they do?"

****

Oh, but Buffy… _she'll never tell… any of you…_

"Wrong story!" 

"But Madame Author is correct… I won't tell you what they do…" **Drusilla stated. She crouched down and pulled out one of the straps of the stilettos, but to no avail got it off. **"You see, that's the problem. The strap is stuck!"

"No, you moron, they're protected by magick." 

****

Drusilla pondered Buffy's statement… was it a bluff? Or was she serious? Drusilla stomped, screaming, "Damnit! I remember now! They _are_ magick. And within a matter of minutes, I'll be facing my defeat." 

****

You know, I see it now… you all want me to fail. You _just_ gave away the purpose of this chapter, you dolt… sigh. Anyway… Buffy stared at the vampire in smug shock. Meanwhile…  
  
"Are we there yet?" **Anya asked Spike and Dawn, stumbling after them. When they simply rolled their eyes, not answering, she simply inquired for the five – millionth time – **"Are we there _yet_?" 

****

Finally Spike turned around, glaring – "Shut _the bloody hell_ up!"   
"Fine," **Anya stated, miffed. **"I was just –"

"_Shut up_!" **Spike and Dawn yelled simultaneously, not aware that they had come to the end of the woods and had now started walking back on the Bloody Road.**

"Uhh…" Anya started.

"Did we not just tell you to shut up?" **Dawn inquired slowly.**

"Yes. You did. It was mean… but we're back on the road. Buffy isn't on the road. She isn't in the woods. And I'm getting tired of looking for her. In the movie it was all a dream, right? So when someone wakes up, this will _all_ be over, and it won't matter." 

"Your lack of logic ceased to amaze me…" **Spike grumbled, looking around. **"Cause if you had _looked _ the bloody Hell around, you would see…" **He nodded his head slightly, in the direction of a sign that read " Drusilla's Lair. Open 24/7. Now Holding a Blood – Drive." **

"Or… we can go save her to give this story some kind've plot," **Anya whispered. With a final – **"Demons, and witches, and vampires! Oh my!" **from Dawn, the trio headed up the steps to Drusilla's lair and barged in.**

"Honey! We're home!" **Dawn called randomly…**

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A/N 2 : That concludes chapter five. It's bad, as you can see… so I'll end this fic in chapter six, I promise. Anyway… review. Thanks.   


Updated Last: **August 02, 2002. **


	6. The end Halleluja!

**_When we last left off, our `heroes` had barged in on Drusilla's lair… _**

"Honey, we're home!" **Dawn called randomly.**

**Spike snorted, shaking his head at the Lil' Bit. **"Oh, yeah, that's real subtle."

**Anya however, the only one not intent on bickering, but getting this odd dream sequence done with, took a tentative step through the doorway. An odd movement among the shadows drew her attention and she whimpered –** "Guys…" 

Naturally, Dawn and Spike continued to argue. We couldn't torture Anya any, if they did not. Yes, of course, we love Anya. But, who could resist the torment of…oh, eek! I'm not giving it away! Think for yourselves, dear reader! 

"Guys…" **the blonde tried again, louder, as the earlier attackers, the flying bunnies, emerged from the shadows. The hub – bub of Spike and Dawn yelling about 'subtleties' died down as they looked at the winged rabbits, noses twitching, reddened eyes watching their every move.**

"Oh, bloody hell Anya, they're just rabbits." **Spike stated in disgust simultaneously as Dawn said – **"Grow up!"

"But they're evil, evil Buffy kidnapping bunnies," **Anya pointed out. As if to prove her point, she whipped out her script from her pocket, unfolding it and flipping through it for a moment. All bodies in the main – room of the lair stood still, 'cept Anya, who went through the pages rapidly, mumbling **"No… not there… that's not right… they went all wrong… AHA!" **And then held up the page, pointing to the part which read **_Evil Bunnies come in a swoop up the slayer, taking her to Drusilla's lair. _

"Riiiiight." 

"So, _they're_ the evil bunnies? They're so bloody cute! Wait, this is the part where they take us to Drusilla, and we in turn…"

"You're ruining it for the audience," **Anya pointed out again. **"Now, since they know what's gonna happen, why don't we just give ourselves up…"

****

And that they did.

When the evil, winged bunnies carried them into the 'tower' of the lair…for towers are evil, yes, very evil… where Buffy and Drusilla were waiting expectantly in one form of another.

"See? I told you they'd come. Now pay up," **the Slayer stated smugly. Drusilla rolled her eyes and tossed a five-dollar bill just out of the blonde's reach.**

"Get it."

"That's not fair!" **Buffy cried, struggling to reach the money but thick chains held her back. Drusilla laughed, then turned her attention to the "visitors". **

"So I see you have found my lair…" **The Wicked vampiress stated blithely. **

"Yeah, it had nothing to do with the glowing sign out front…" **the younger Summers replied in sarcasm. The Wicked one became flustered –**"I… I… I _was_ gonna take that down. Really. I was just too busy…um…it's none of your business! Bunnies! Attack!"

****

The bunnies rushed at Dawn, Spike, and Anya. All Dawn and Spike did was bitch slap them around til' there was one, and that one was facing off with Anya. Anya, in a rage, picked it up by it's BunnyThroat and screamed – "Die! DIE DIE DIE! EVIL, VILE CREATURE! DIE!" **And then, proceeded to a stone – wall and bashed the rabbit's head into it repeatedly. Gone and done with. Finally, Dawn stepped over, tapped Anya on the shoulder and commented – **"You can stop now."

"Oh. Right." 

****

In embarrassment, Anya threw the corpse out've the window and looked around. Everyone was in silence. Finally, the insane bunny hater shrieked – "Stop staring at me, okay!? It's slowing things down!"

****

Mutely, the other four nodded in agreement and racked their brains as to what to do next. Remembering, Drusilla took her cue and fell to her knees, "sobbing". 

"Spare me!" **She wailed.** "I should give you anything you wish for if you spare my unlife." **She paused for a moment, looking up to the others. **"Who writes this crap?" 

****

Dawn, and Spike, and Anya shrugged. (Clears throat) I, the almighty author, write this crap. NOW DO AS I SAY!

"We want…Miss Edith, your doll," **Anya replied dutifully, as Spike yelled – **"Set Buffy free!"

****

Drusilla debated. In the script it read that yes, she would die, then they'd get the doll and Buffy anyway. If she simply gave it to them, she might live. Shrugging, she glared at Spike, and turned to the Slayer.

"Just stand up, they're not really chained to the wall."

****

Buffy attempted to. "I can't."

"Just stand up."

****

She tried again. "I can't." 

"_Just stand up!"_

"I can't."

"Uh…Buffy?" **Dawn stated meekly. **"You're standing. That's not a chain. That's your bracelet." 

"Oh…" **Blush. Spike picked up the doll, which lay on a table, a sign attached – **_Miss Edith. Take me with you, please! To the Wizard who is really -_

"We can go now!" **Spike announced, crumpling up the sign. **

"Yes, yes you can," **Drusilla stated, miserable. **"You can come visit me sometime, William." 

****

Spike shook his head and left the tower, down the steps, out've the main chamber, and into the Ozian - night. The other three good – guys trekked after him.

And then they marched right on through the woods, in silence, encountering not one set – back or fight. When a bunny scampered across their path, Anya merely continued over tree – roots and whatnot, much to the surprise of others. When they reached Ebony City again, the towns people glared at them… for they, they were the singers! Singing was usually tied to happiness! Treason! Why should they live!? 

"Exactly," **said one Ebony City resident. The four heroes sauntered to the sable dome and barged in – despite Warren protesting.**

"Hey!" **Warren yelled indignantly. Spike, in impatience, slammed his fist through the trophy case where every single Star Wars action figure resides. Picking up the Darth Vader figure and snapping it in half. The geek collapsed into sobs. **

"Right then," **the bleached blonde vampire shrugged cheerfully, as the Slayer, the sister, and the Ex- Demon sauntered in the direction they had taken earlier. Chip Boy followed, until they were faced to face with the glowing projection of the Wizard.**

"We got what you asked for…so… _give us what we want!_ Now!" **Dawn shrieked. Like a small child, having a tantrum. **

"Well actually… you see…hehe… um…'' 

****

At the time, the attention of the oh – so – sexy Spike was drawn to a rustle in the corner… cloaked in shadows… but noticeable to the vampire's eye. And if he listened closely…

"Ow… hey…Andrew! Get off!" 

"No, you, bonehead!" 

"You're just jealous cause I can beat you every time in _Pac – Man!_"

"Am not."

"Are too!"

"Hello, dipshit, we've got the Slayer and everyone out there! Now we can make Spike – I mean Buffy—our sex slave!"

"Yeah!"

****

At the last two sentences, one of the moronic nerds accidentally hit the microphone, turning it on, and the projection boomed it to all their ears. 

"O – kaaay," **Dawn added fearfully, backing away towards the door and…**

__

Flash!

The Slayer sat up in bed, blinking at the odd dream that plagued her mind… honestly, was she _that_ stupid? Gathering her wits about her, she looked out the window - -

Where clouds whizzed by as the house at 1630 Revello Drive fell from a darkened sky. 

****

The End… or is it? 


End file.
